Sunday, October 19, 2014


Today seems like a good time to update. Through 2014 there have been many big changes in lifestyle, attitude and location.

After 5 years and 9 months of renting an apartment in Bloomington we FINALLY bought a house!

It was a short, and mostly pain-free, process this time. The Lord knew what I needed to do to manage my fear of the mortgage process long before we even started. Were there doubts? Yes of course. We looked at so many houses and thought we knew what we wanted. The house we chose is the perfect one for us.

It's taken no time at all to feel comfortable. Officially we moved in Oct 15.

The oldest has moved to his first apartment and seems to be doing okay. The youngest is with us for now. Again, a year with a lot of changes.

Thinking back over the past 9-1/2 months, we've weathered some storms... some weather-related, some not. And I don't think I regret how the storms have shaped me. I wouldn't have asked for most of them (ok, maybe I wouldn't mind repeating the big snow storms of January & February).

For the past few years I have coasted through my spiritual faith. Sometimes it was even a conscious choice. I did notice when I didn't go to church... usually terrible weeks at work and home. I noticed when I did actively seek God. One of the things I was able to do this year, as I began to give up my fears, is begin to sing through my anxiety, especially at night. Of course in the middle of the night it was silent singing so as not to disturb Mike or the neighbors. And I noticed that it helped more and more. As I focused on the word I sang, my ability to focus on my journey with Jesus increased, as did my desire.

So this is a post of thankfulness along the journey of life.

Saturday, June 15, 2013

Sunny Saturday

A slow Saturday morning with a few things to do. It's Father's Day weekend so I will treat my hubby special, and call my dad tomorrow. Many things are different in the past year, but still many the same. I have joined Twitter and Pintrest... but still standing on the sidelines of both. Seth still lives at home. Brandon is in the last year of his countdown to be 18 and depart from us.Twelve years working for the same company for me; four years for Mike. Seth bought a car last fall, and Brandon also obtained his license.

Visited Phoenix, Arizona earlier this spring with my mom. Just a girls weekend with no special agenda except spending time together. It was wonderful. The only difficult time for me was the flying. The older I get the more worried I am about weird things... air travel, heights... But I have another trip planned for later this year. I need to get saving for Mike to have a ticket to visit his siblings. Wonder if I could surprise him with saving enough money? It's worth a try...

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Random Thoughts

I am sitting in my cube on a Sunday afternoon that is rapidly becoming evning. Why?  Because I have an exam to pass in a few days, and reading at home is difficult.  Turns out reading here is also fraught with the Peril of Distractions. Actually I have studied some. Not enought yet though.

I have an irrational fear. It's almost a phobia. It's extremely embarassing to admit. But I faced it and though it took about 2 hours longer than it should have, I finally have submitted the mortgage application that I planned to do about two weeks ago. I cannot express in words the fear that this process produces in me. Multiple episodes of tears, panic attacks, shame, significant avoidance of anything related to it. I would rather lick a toilet bowl than work on the application to be preapproved for a mortgage. Well, maybe not. But sometimes it feels like the bathroom would be a better option. Why am I afraid?  It is a personal rejection if they say no? No... nothing personal about it.. fit the criteria and you are offered $, or don't fit and continue to rent. I have no idea what will come of this application.  Last time we did this I was convinced that we could not possibly qualify, and we did... but that was in 2004.

Ok, back to my reality... this horribly dry textbook about Property and Liability Insurance. Chapter 7 look out!

Sunday, June 3, 2012

Graduation Day

Well it was Graduation Day a week ago. Seth has a high school diploma. So many emotions... memories... angst... frustration... smiles... hot weather... laughter... food and more food. Pictures soon

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Apartments & Appliances

MBM - Click here to find out what this is.

This is my first Memorial Box post, although I can think of several times in my life where God arranged specific circumstances in specific places for his glory.  This particular instance happened on Dec. 17 or 18, 2011. We live in a good sized apartment with a full size refrigerator. We've lived here since Jan. 2009, and generally it's a pretty good place to live.

That Saturday and Sunday I was really busy doing "stuff."  Mostly pre-Christmas stuff.. shopping, etc. For whatever reason I didn't cook on Saturday or Sunday. Sunday evening I thought about it but the thought of fixing a big meal wasn't very appealing since I was prepping for Christmas Eve & Day... which is usually just fine with my teenage boys. They are good scavengers and there was a lot of random food available.

Monday morning Mike opens the freezer for some sausage for breakfast and said "The freezer is broken. Everything is thawed." Ugh... not what you want to hear on a frantic Monday morning at 5:45am. We both realize that the fridge has been running nonstop for most of the weekend. There is still a bit of coolness in the freezer & fridge so not too worried.

He calls the landlord company after they open, and they send someone right over. The maintenance guy takes a 2 minute look at the back of the fridge and says, "Oh, it's just the thermostat pooped out. I can install another one in a jiffy." Which he does.. and tells Mike it will take several hours for everything to cool back down to normal temps.

Fast forward to Monday night... I get home from work and the fridge is still running. It seems marginally cool-ish, but in the interest of not losing all the food I have Mike pick up a cooler and some ice on his way home... just in case. I was also thinking this would lessen the burden on the poor old fridge.. so it could cool down quicker.  I cooked a bunch of the meat and repackaged it with a slight change of plans. I should mention that both freezer and fridge were PACKED with food for the holidays & the boys time off school AND my parents had visited earlier in December and had brought Pacific halibut and cod that my dad caught... about 30 lbs. of fish. I thank God for the quick resolution to this whole giant problem. Whew!  Drama and nightmare avoided!

Tuesday morning... cue the loud drum/horn music indicating doom and destruction. Nothing is cold and even the partially frozen stuff still in the freezer is completely thawed. Double Ugh...  I call the landlord from work and leave a message.  No call back. I call again around lunch time. The girl tells me "Oh, we thought that was a leftover message from yesterday about your refrigerator." I say no... its still a problem and now everything is warm and ruined.  (Keep in mind this is Tuesday, Dec. 20... just a few days from Christmas... when my cooking and baking efforts start ramping up... and it is 2 more days until payday.)

She says they will try to have someone come that afternoon. I get home around 5:00 and still no one has been by to check in.  I call the landlord's office again. "Oh my" she says, "I'm sure he will come first thing in the morning."  The maintenance guy comes around 5:30 and declares that the fridge has died a slow death and we will have to get a replacement.... maybe on Wednesday.

I start bargaining with God... shouldn't we just go get one of our old refrigerators from the storage unit and plug it in? Isn't there a vacant apartment where we could store something? Couldn't a cold front blow in tonight and we could set things outside to keep cold? It is December in Illinois after all.  Nope, nope and nope. Of course the whole idea of salvaging any of the food was ridiculous... grasping at straws I guess.

Wednesday afternoon at 3:00 they arrive with a new refrigerator. It's lovely, brand new from Sears. It's even a little larger than the old one. It even is noticably cold within a couple of hours! Awesome!!  but we have nothing left to put in it and no money to go to the store with. Now... don't get me wrong... We had plenty of cereal, crackers, bread, tuna, etc. etc. that could have been made into a meal. My whiny heart just didn't want to deal with it.

I was chatting on Facebook with my brother, and then he quit responding.  It was time for me to leave to pick up Mike from work so I signed off and gathered up my stuff and headed out the door. My phone rang and my brother's voice said, "Are you close to Hwy 150?"  "Um.. yeah, why?"  "Well how close?"  "Pretty close.. Why?"  "Ok, is that South Main Street?"   "Yeah, I think so."  "Ok sis, head that direction."

I follow my brother's directions and he says "Find the BP gas station."  I say, "David, I don't need gas... just a listening ear while I vent all this frustration away."  "No really, go the BP station on Main Street."  (I know it well... it's just in front of our storage unit.)   "Ok, does it have a Western Union sign?"  "y.e.a.h.... ? "   Ok, well there's a gift for you inside.  Go out to dinner tonight, go to the movies, or even the grocery store if you want... just go spend it.  Call me later when you get the money since I've never done this before and I'll tell you more of the story."  Click.

Ok... I walk inside and go to the counter. I say to the man, I am supposed to receive Western Union money but I've never done this before.  He just stared at me and said  Come back tomorrow. I am new and don't know how to give the money.  Hmmm ok God... what does THAT mean??

I walk back out to the car... Well I really should be getting over to pick up Mike from work... I'll figure it out as I go.  I dial 411 and ask for another Western Union location, which connects me with their customer service info. I ask some questions and find out I can go to any of their locations. They give me a couple of addresses which are on the way.  I stop at Kroger and go to their counter... but there is a sign saying they are on a 30 minute break.

Hmm next address is Kmart. Do I really want to go to Kmart two days before Christmas? I've got 20 minutes before Mike gets off work so I decide to see how long the line is.  Wow.. only 1 person in line. I get to the counter and tell my tale. Ok, fill out this form... done... cash! The customer service man at Kmart was so pleasant, harried due to the season and yet wanted to make sure everything was done correctly and showing another co-worker how the process worked.  Wow... talk about humbling. The amount was so generous. Walking back out to the car I felt like a troll and a frog... or a frog troll. I had been so focused on myself and my situation, negativity abounding.
I race to pick up Mike (late now) but can't wait to share the whole story! Yippee!!  Ketchup, milk, eggs, cheese.

Fast forward to Tuesday, Dec. 27th.  I had carefully shopped and saved all the receipts in hopes of getting some sort of reimbursement from our landlord company. $383 and change. Some of it wasn't replaceable, like the fish. It's out of season and like $26 per pound. I called and he offered half of the cost, applied to our January rent. That seemed reasonable-ish... but I now focused on things outside myself. I thanked him for the help and offered to fax the receipts for verification.  (I still have them in my purse 6 weeks later!)

I have to say that I work for a large national insurance company, in their home office. And my cubicle is about 50 feet from the Claims dept. I know a few people over there because we share copiers and printers. I ran into Lori and normal chit-chat... how was your Christmas, etc. I mentioned the frantic last minute grocery shopping and the short version of the fridge death. She asked how the process of the claim was going.. assuming that I had done that. "Oh, we have renters insurance but our deductible is high on purpose.. too much hassle for $300."  Her eyes just about popped out and she said, "You have to call that in right now! It's a non-chargable non-deductible claim."   I explained that we had been partially reimbursed from the landlord anyway so wasn't going to take advantage.  Oh no, she says... this is what your insurance is for. What???  I reluctantly call in the claim, and within 40 minutes I had a check in my hand.  Oh my...  God's provision is so abundant and overflowing. I still can't believe it happened... and it's only been 6 weeks!  Wow...

The fridge works fabulously... shiny, clean, full of everything we like.

Oh.. and the story of how my brother's family was blessed to have more money than they expected is for another day.

Monday, January 9, 2012


An earlier post about the forced gratitude, but this one is about the things I really am thankful for.

My husband. We've been together 11 years now and I think we know 95% of what there is to know about each other. (I had to leave the other 5% open since there is always something to learn :).  He really tries to understand me and tries so hard to make my life easier. We often have different timeframes of when household things should get done and differing opinions on parenting techniques. But none of those are deal-breakers. He believes in me and encourages me to find outside interests. We both love books and sitting on the porch reading, or laying in bed reading, or finding a new used bookstore... always high on our lists of things to do together. We don't often read the same books, but just the act of being together in a similar task is relaxing in itself. He's honest with me when I want honesty, and is willing to gloss over difficult subjects when it's called for. He is not perfect and we do have disagreements. I do the same complaining as others do. Love covers many annoyances.

My sons. One from my body, and one by choice. They are as unique as two snowflakes, and are at a stage where their maturing toward adulthood is more apparent. And yet even on days where one or both are difficult to like, I see seeds of promise in each of them as men. The oldest is mine by blood. In him I see reflections of many men in his family lines. He is quick to smile, usually slow to anger, not very competitive, likes to make life easier for mom (which always gains points!). He ambles through life without many goals. He's physically strong and generally a marshmallow. He freely gives hugs. My younger son is not of my flesh, and yet our personalities are so similar. He wants to control his own life without interference and be independent. When he turned 11 he really thought he had arrived and that he could now start being in charge of himself. (He was sorely mistaken.) He chafes against being underage for anything. He is fearless and will challenge any authority that he thinks is wrong. He is competitive about everything. He has a contradictory statement for anything... abrasive. And he loves little kids. He was a great mother's helper for his aunt and younger cousins a few years ago. As a high schooler he has babysat at adult parties and will play and play with little ones and believes he's having a great time. He hates that he has a second cousin who just turned 2 that we haven't met in person yet.. and can't wait to hang out with him. Right now he doesn't want children of his own, but I believe that he will be a good daddy someday... a LONG time from now!

To be continued at a later date...

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Christmas 2011

Welcome to those who have stopped by for the first time. So happy about Christmas time. Trying to drink in the moments of family today. Just the four of us.

So there it is.. the fake tree. I grew up always having a tree we cut as a family event, that my parents would leave up for weeks and weeks, and then finally we would have a burning party. Decorating the tree was an event with my mom.. pulling out each ornament, one at a time for my brother and I to place. I still have a lot of my childhood ornaments. I remember my dad with some version of saw... cutting off a few branches at a time to put in the fireplace until only the trunk was left and could be put in the garbage. I was well into adulthood before I saw how dangerous it is!

Now we have an artificial tree. (Artificial seems like the PC term.) Doesn't have an odor of freshness, but is convenient. The heavier ornaments are secure. No one has to remember to water it or worry that it gets too warm. No one has to vacuum around presents to keep it looking nice. No pets this year means no monitoring the lower branches for slobber or missing items.

I expected this week to be relaxed and quiet. Work was that way... Home was not exactly what I planned. But no matter the circumstances, we are here at home. We have all the things we need (and probably several that we want under the tree). . The sun is even shining. Merry Christmas to everyone!